If you and your child’s other parent were never married, Washington law still provides an avenue for you to sort out:
- Who the child lives with
- When the child sees each parent
- How big the child support payment should be
In Jefferson County, that all happens through Superior Court in Port Townsend. This article explains how it works here specifically for unmarried parents.
(This is general information, not legal advice about your particular situation.)
1. Do unmarried parents have different rights in Washington?
Short answer: once parentage is legally established, unmarried parents have basically the same rights and responsibilities as divorced parents when it comes to issues pertaining to the children
But there are two big practical differences for unmarried parents:
- There is no residential schedule and child support order entered as part of the divorce.
Most parents who were at one point married enter a parenting plan and support order as part of their overall dissolution proceeding. If you were never married and don’t go to court, Washington simply recognizes the child’s legal parents but doesn’t give you a detailed court order about residential time, holidays, exchanges, etc. - Fathers often need to affirmatively establish legal parentage.
If you were never married, the father usually has to establish parentage before the court will enter a parenting plan or custody order.
Until there’s a court order, things are fuzzy. You might be “getting along for now,” but you don’t have enforceable rules if conflict breaks out, someone moves, someone withholds the child, or someone doesn’t pay their share of the cost of daycare.
2. Step One: Establishing parentage (paternity)
To get a parenting plan and officially ordered child support, you generally need legal parentage for both parents.
In Washington, parentage can be established in a few common ways:
- Acknowledgment of Parentage (AOP)
- A form signed by both parents (often at the hospital or later) and filed with the Department of Health.
- This creates a legal parent-child relationship without a court hearing.
- A form signed by both parents (often at the hospital or later) and filed with the Department of Health.
- Presumed parentage through marriage
- If the child is born during a marriage (or very shortly after), a rebuttable presumption exists that the spouse is a parent. Admittedly this is less relevant for most “never married” situations, but it matters if someone was recently married to someone else.
- If the child is born during a marriage (or very shortly after), a rebuttable presumption exists that the spouse is a parent. Admittedly this is less relevant for most “never married” situations, but it matters if someone was recently married to someone else.
- Court parentage action
- If there’s no AOP and you were never married, a parent can file a parentage case in Superior Court. The court can:
- Determine parentage (paternity/parentage order)
- Order genetic testing if there’s a dispute
- Then enter a parenting plan and child support order based on this finding.
- Determine parentage (paternity/parentage order)
- If there’s no AOP and you were never married, a parent can file a parentage case in Superior Court. The court can:
If parentage is already established (for example, via AOP), your case will likely just be a “Petition for a Parenting Plan, Residential Schedule and/or Child Support” for unmarried parents.
3. Where do I file in Jefferson County?
For Jefferson County, these cases are filed in:
Jefferson County Superior Court (Clerk’s Office) in Port Townsend.
Key local points:
- The Clerk’s Office accepts filings and provides access to forms and packets (for a small fee)
- Jefferson County has a Family Law Facilitator program that can help individuals who chose to self represent identify the correct forms, review them for completeness, and provide information on basic procedure. An appointment with the family law facilitator is $20.
The Family Law Facilitator program is an excellent procedural resource, but it does not provide legal representation. It is a program provided by neutral court staff.
My practice experience: Many parents start with court packets and the facilitator, then hire a lawyer when things get complicated. While representing yourself in a family law case can save money in legal fees, it can also make things more difficult for your lawyer should you retain one deeper into your legal proceeding. Your lawyer will be inheriting a case where filings or rulings have already been made. At this point it may be difficult or impossible to assist with an issue that could have been addressed up front. I am contacted regularly by prospective clients who decide to retain counsel immediately after an adverse ruling, a point at which their options are generally more limited.
4. Parenting plans for unmarried parents: how does the court decide?
For unmarried parents, the court uses the same basic framework as in a divorce:
- Washington’s Parenting Act (RCW 26.09 & RCW 26.26B) governs residential schedules and decision-making for children.
What a parenting plan includes
A Washington parenting plan will address, at minimum:
- Where the child lives most of the time
- When the child spends time with the other parent (weekends, holidays, summers)
- How major decisions are made (education, medical, religion)
- How exchanges and transportation work
- What happens if there are conflicts or concerns
Once the plan is signed by a judge, it becomes a court order. If someone doesn’t follow it, the other parent can ask the court to enforce it.
Jefferson County realities
Jefferson County is rural and spread out. We also have a fair number of transplants from out of state. Common issues that show up in parenting plans here include:
- Parents living in different small communities (Port Townsend, Port Hadlock, Chimacum, Port Ludlow, Quilcene, Brinnon)
- Long drives for exchanges and ferry schedules if a parent lives or works on the other side of the water
- Parents with irregular schedules (shipyard, construction, shift work, seasonal work, military employment)
- Parents who are in separate states entirely, with one parent having returned to California
A local judge or commissioner will look at what is realistic for this particular family in this county, not just a generic “week on/week off” or “alternating weekends” schedule. Our local judges and commissioners prioritize keeping dedicated parents involved in their kids’ lives and firm in their role as parents even when there are difficult logistical hurdles.
5. Child support when you were never married
Child support for unmarried parents is calculated exactly the same way as for divorced parents.
Washington uses a statewide formula called the Washington State Child Support Schedule (Chapter 26.19 RCW) and official Child Support Schedule Worksheets.
The court will:
- Look at both parents’ incomes.
- Use the state economic table to find a basic monthly support amount based on total combined income and number of children.
- Allocate that amount between the parents based on their proportional share of income.
- Add typical extras such as:
- Health insurance
- Uninsured medical expenses
- Daycare / work-related childcare
- Sometimes extracurriculars, if appropriate.
- Health insurance
- Decide who pays whom, and how much.
The Jefferson County Family Law Facilitator can help you plug numbers into the official worksheets but cannot tell you what to argue for or what is “fair” – that’s where legal advice comes in.
6. Common situations for unmarried parents in Jefferson County
Here are some of the real-world situations I see:
1. “We broke up and suddenly I’m not allowed to see my child.”
Often, there’s been an informal arrangement with no court order. When conflict hits:
- One parent starts blocking contact or changing times last minute.
- The other parent feels powerless because “there’s nothing in writing.”
The usual fix is to file in Superior Court for a parenting plan (and often child support) so there’s a clear, enforceable schedule. This will often include or be followed up by a motion for temporary orders, so that there is a temporary parenting plan and support order in place while the case is working its way through the court.
2. “I’m a dad, I’m not on the birth certificate, and I want rights.”
This typically requires:
- Establishing parentage (if not already done) through an Acknowledgment of Parentage or a court parentage action.
- Then asking the court for a parenting plan and child support order in the same case.
Once parentage is legally established, you stand on the same legal footing as any other parent asking the court for a schedule and decision-making rights.
3. “We already have DCS child support, but no parenting plan.”
Sometimes the Division of Child Support (DCS) sets an administrative child support order first, without any court parenting plan.
In that case, you can:
- Keep the existing DCS order, or
- Ask the Superior Court to enter its own child support order as part of your parenting plan/parentage case, using the same state schedule and worksheets.
Either way, the parenting plan itself must come from Superior Court — DCS doesn’t handle residential schedules or custody.
4. “There’s domestic violence or controlling behavior.”
If there is domestic violence or safety concerns, you may need:
- A civil protection order (for example, a Domestic Violence Protection Order) to address immediate safety; and
- A parenting plan that includes safety provisions (limited contact, supervised visitation, treatment requirements, etc.).
Jefferson County Superior Court handles both protection orders and family law cases, but the procedures are different. It’s important to coordinate them so they don’t conflict and so you’re fully protected.
7. Jefferson County FAQs for never-married parents
“Do we have to go to court in Port Townsend?”
Yes. For Jefferson County cases, your Superior Court is in Port Townsend. Most hearings are eligible for remote appearance but this depends on current local rules and therefore something you’d confirm at the time of your case.
“Can we just write our own agreement and not file anything?”
You can write your own schedule and support agreement, but it’s not an enforceable court order unless it’s filed and signed by a judge/commissioner.
If you want the ability to:
- Enforce payment of child support
- Enforce a residential schedule
…you need a formal parenting plan / child support order entered with the court.
“Do we both have to be Jefferson County residents?”
Generally no.
- If the child lives in Jefferson County, that’s usually enough to make this the proper county. Even if one parent is out of state, RCW 26.21A.100 provides a list of scenarios in which jurisdiction is still proper.
- If everyone has moved away, a different county might be more appropriate.
This is something a lawyer can help you analyze based on where the child and both parents live, and should be addressed during your consultation.
9. How my firm helps unmarried parents in Jefferson County
As a family law and protection order attorney based in Port Townsend, I regularly work with:
- Unmarried parents who need their first parenting plan and child support order
- Fathers who want to establish parentage and real time with their kids
- Parents dealing with domestic violence, addiction, or safety concerns
- People who started with packets and the facilitator and now need help finishing or litigating a contested case
If your case involves a child who lives in Jefferson County or nearby — Port Townsend, Port Hadlock, Chimacum, Port Ludlow, Quilcene, Brinnon — I can walk you through your options and help you decide whether you need:
- A parentage case
- A Petition for a Parenting Plan, Residential Schedule and/or Child Support
- A protection order in addition to your family law case
- Or help responding to something the other parent has already filed
You can reach out to my office to schedule a consultation and talk through your specific situation and options.
